In honor of me moving on Friday I thought I would reminisce on one of the most memorable stories I have regarding the first place I lived in out on my own.
It all started when I was leaving school on a brisk Sunday night to run home, change, and then head back to campus to support my friends in their intramural volleyball game. I was at home for no longer than 5 minutes and come out to a small white piece of paper on my windshield. I lift my whipper blade to reveal a simple business card with two lines written on it. The name Jerry and a phone number.
Perplexed by the simplicity of the card, I tried to understand the reasoning behind it. Seeing as I was at home for no more than five minutes, I figured that I had gotten the card on campus and merely overlooked it on my drive home. Which was explanation enough for me because people do weird stuff on campus.
However, as I removed the card from my windshield I noticed that on the back it had a personal hand written note in the most feminine hand writing I had ever seen.
I was uncomfortably flattered that someone saw me and because of my raw beauty or as they would call it, my raw hotness exclamation point exclamation point, they were moved enough to leave that nice love note on my car. Sweet but also creepy. But then I remembered that the name on the card was Jerry, and I don’t know about you but all the Jerry’s I know are not of the female type.
Which got me curious. Not because I was potentially interested in dating or as the kids call in now a day, “Netflix and Chilling,” but because I wanted to know if Jerry was a girl with a very unfortunate name, or a guy that bats for the other team.
So the next day Kevin and I put together our best MTV catfish skills to try and figure out who this Jerry person was. We did an extensive search on the internet using Google, Bing, and Facebook, but came up with nothing. As a last ditch effort we searched the entire list of 60,000 Texas A&M students and still came up with nothing. Exhausting all our leads I bit the bullet and decided to call the number and solve the mystery once and for all.
With no idea what I was going to say I dialed the number on the card and waited. I was eventually greeted by a very male and very flamboyant answering tone. “Heyyyyy, this is Jer-r” *click*. With that last piece of evidence, I figured out the gender of Jerry and my curiosity was curved. Case closed.
Or so I thought. Later that day Jerry called me back and left me a nice voicemail saying, “Hey Thomas this is Jerry, I received a phone call from you and I don’t know if you know me or not but…. Call me back if it’s important!” To which I did nothing because there is a high chance that Jerry wants to Netflix and chill with me and I am not one to lead people on.
About a week later I was walking around my apartment complex and I noticed a middle age man that resembled a clean shaven Theodore Bagwell from the hit TV show Prison Break sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette.
(photo of what Jerry looks like)
We locked eyes and exchanged the generic “Hi, how are you” greetings. A greeting that seemed familiar not because of the words spoke but because of the tone of the smoking gentleman. Whoever he was, he sounded like someone I knew, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Then all of the sudden it hit me, he sounded a lot like Jerry. I immediately pull up my voicemail and relisted to Jerry’s voice to confirm that in fact the smoking twin of Theodore Bagwell thinks I am hot. And the business card was not placed during my ten hour stay on campus, but rather in five minutes of me being home. This just went to a whole new level of creepy.
I text my investigation partner Kevin to inform him that I have figured out who Jerry was. In the midst of explaining the evidence to Kevin I received a text message from Jerry that read, well why don’t you read it for yourself.
I have never wanted to be 21 as badly as I wanted to be 21 that day. What I originally thought was creepy is now small potatoes, and I now have mild OCD when it comes to locking all more doors in windows.
But I do have to complement Jerry on how he is a man of his word, because he has for the most part left me alone like he said he would. Except for the occasional times when I find him staring at me as I do manly stuff like work on my car or build bookshelves outside. Which is more awkward than scary because no one in the right mind would attack someone holding a power saw or large wrench.
As creepy and uneasy this whole situation was, I do have to admit that 1- it makes a pretty interesting story, and 2 – I learned how to deal with the realities of living on my own and being in some not so desirable and sketchy situations.
As always, make good choices, smash that follow button, share if you like what I said, comment if you have something to add, and I will see you on Tuesday.
And Jerry if you’re out there reading this do know that I’m sure you’re a nice guy and all but don’t go after someone that could be your grandchild, that is just weird.