I have been living in Michigan the past few months and I just have to say this ain’t Texas y’all.
I know a lot of you don’t read my blog for the intellectual scientific jargon I use to evaluate philosophical dilemmas in today’s society however, I could not find a simpler way to form my argument. With that out of the way let me try my best to further convince you that when you drive 20 hours from the taco boarder to maple syrup one that your surroundings do in fact take a drastic change.
First of all the seasons I am used to are: not hot, hot, toaster oven, and that one awkward week where a cold front comes through and I actually wear a jacket. But in Michigan the weather goes from not hot, to nippy, to cold, to the deep freeze your grandma has in the garage to store all the ice cream.
Which seems a little backwards to me moving from the toaster oven to the freezer. Because from my extensive years of making pizza rolls, I know the correct order is freezer to toaster oven not toaster oven to freezer.
Climate aside the physical structure of the city is different. The roads and other civil infrastructures are not as great yet I pay higher taxes. Essentially paying more but getting less. However, I also recognize that I have grown up in Texas a place with a thriving and diverse economy that was somewhat insulated from the 2008 economic downturn. Unlike Michigan which took the brunt end of the recession. So, it makes sense that the infrastructure isn’t quite the same and I feel less angry when things like the increased road tax went in effect this past July. On account of experiencing firsthand the needs of the city. Plus, Texas doesn’t really have potholes because you need ice for potholes and well ice doesn’t happen in a toaster oven.
Aside from the infrastructure quality, the layout of the city is also weird. I do appreciate the whole 8-mile, 9-mile, etc. lay out. Not only for the rap clout it gives me, but also it only took me 3 seconds to learn the latitude roads of the city. However, they have this thing called a Michigan left where you have to turn right to make a u-turn as a form of going left. But this is only sometimes, other times they have regular lefts but you don’t know which one it is until you are at the intersection and hope you picked the correct lane. So, I may know where 12-mile road is but it’s still going to take me 3 tries to turn onto the road.
When it comes to government policy, I am not a fan. Mostly because they take 10 cents for every can or bottle I buy as a deposit. This is done to encourage me to bring it back to the store I bought it from for recycling, therefore returning my 10 cents. Because apparently the recycling truck that comes to my house is a different from of recycling. Mostly I am bitter that you aren’t allowed to crush the cans. On a related note if anyone needs 100 crushed cans let me know.
Now my food grievances are less the fault of Michigan being Michigan and more so the fact that it ain’t Texas, because when you live in a Whataburger/HEB/Bucee’s/Tex-Mex desert there is simply a Texas shape hole in your life. Sure, I can get food at other grocery stores but food from HEB just tastes better. And if you try to tell me Chilis is Tex-Mex I’ll delete you like I did Google. I am now a Bing guy. Well I was for 32 seconds and then I remembers how inferior all other search engines were and forgave Google for its lies.
Despite food not tasting the same, my clothes not working the same, nothing looking the same, and driving over potholes that suck the soul out of your body faster than a dementor, there are times that I forget I am not in Texas anymore. Which has everything to do with the people.
I may have traveled to the other side of the country but it did not take long for me to find caring friends, thoughtful neighbors, and a good church community. Sure, these people talk a little weird and call a coke a pop, but the root of their character is the same. Making my new home feel like home. Which is good because apparently it does this thing in the winter called snow. And if these rumors are true, I am going to need good friends to warm my heart as the outside freezes everything else around me.
All joking aside when I am not throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler, I can also recognize the unique beauty of Michigan. But I am not going to elaborate on that because I am grumpy and want tacos.
As always make good choices, share if you like what I said, comment if you have something to add, consider subscribing, and I’ll see you next time.